Growing old? Rather not.

I sit here and stare at the blinking cursor until I find something exciting I want to write. But then I realized this is MY blog. Everything I write is exciting! I hate to keep telling you, Randy my dear, that things have changed once again. Somethings I don't mind has changed and some I have to remind myself everyday was and is for the best! I FINALLY got the whole best friend thing right. I mean it only took me 17 years of my life. But I think they came in at the perfect time. Skyler, who has of course been there since 7Th grade. We started as basketball buddies, moving on to good friends, to transitioning to amazing best friends who act like sisters. I think that's really all I ever wanted was to have that one person or even two that made me realize when I was being dumb, or to bring me back up when I felt dumb or useless. Along with making me laugh and just being in my life. Then there's Ali. We've become quite close in the past year. I can tell her everything. She knows how to make me laugh. We're just there for each other. My attitude towards things have changed as this past 7 months have passed. Alex and I, even though he was most of everything I was looking for, failed in a relationship. And I will just leave it at that.

I am a senior. This time next year I will be doing either two things; heading off to Basic, or chilling with my best friends the last summer we will have together for awhile. I'm terrified. Absolutely feel like crying my eyes out every time I even think about it. I don't understand how people do it? How can you make the friends you want to keep forever and just up and leave to go on with your life without them. What's the point? My word of advice: if you meet someone who has the potential to be the best friend of your life and you AREN'T going to the same college, stay away. It breaks your heart in the end, when you have to say goodbye.

I will say one thing. I am extremely excited to start my life as a Teacher. Nothing brings more joy to me than knowing that one day I will influence a child to want to be just like me when they grow up. Even if I don't want to grow up myself.

Smile, even at the end.

It's been awhile Randy.

So Randy, my lovely blog, I haven't spoken to you in a long, long time. So many things have changed, I've changed. Remember Nathan? Well, we're no longer together. Too long of a story and I don't wanna get into it. Now...I'm dating Jared Alexander Funk, who goes by Alex. However, I like Jared better, haha. It's been about two months since we've started dating, and about 4 months since I changed. Fall break is when it started. Things happened and people grew apart which brought other people...closer. Nothing worked out in October or November. All I had were Ali Peacock, who is basically the person I tell everything to now, Skyler Stewart, which I'm learning I don't have to try so hard to please her anymore, Jacob Jones, who is just amazing, and ROTC- which has changed everything about me. I became Battalion Commander, which is the highest rank and the person in charge of everyone, after my cousin, who was the Battalion Commander, screwed up with her decision making. Remember Caley? Well, we're still friends, but sometimes she says things or does things that irritates me. I don't play basketball anymore. i changed my career goals slightly. I want to go to Austin Peay State University on the ROTC scholarship, after college go into the Army as an officer for 4 years, then serve IRR for another 4 yeras which means I can become a teacher and only have to keep the Army updated with my address incase of WWIII. Then I can retire from the Army and spend my life as a teacher. I'm actually really scared to go to the Army, but I know I want to do it. So...back to Jared/Alex. He's really great. He reminds me of what I saw that my sister Derricka had when she was dating her husband in High School, and that's what I've always wanted. Oh yeah...didn't I say I've changed aswell. I believe I have become more responsible, assertive, confident (even though I was already border line concieted) and I'm not afraid to tell people what I think. I still try my hardest to please my friends I'm afraid of losing, but with some friends things basically just come natural to us. I smile more.

You don't have to always smile, but always be happy.